A New Year
2017 brings a new year and with it, a new direction. A direction out of hiding in the shadows into a world I am no longer ashamed of myself.
Funny, how shame even creeps on me after all the success I've experienced. You'd think by now I'd find the cure!
But shame is a slithering, sneaky, serpent of a dragon, not easy killed. I submitted and hid in shame for years. The thing is, just like in weightless, I can't cancel out the years with a couple of days.
And I don't even know why I struggle. I've spent time trying to figure it out. The result? Nothing other than I am afraid to the shame of failure to the point of paralyzation.
For so many years, I could't stand losing. I was (still am in ways) ultra competitive. Even my wife refused to play board games with me for years because of it. We're only recently getting back to where will break out a game.
5 years ago, I'd get mad at the table if I rolled a 1. Man, I had some issues. Still do. They are as prevalent as a Time subscription with the content of a Seventeen mag.
Funny now how I get excited when I roll a 1. It gives me the opportunity to fail forward. To tell an interesting story.
I get to share a story which may bring at someone to the edge of their seats. I could captivate entire tables sharing how heroes recover from certain critical failures...
Then I realize I too am a hero. At least I'm being heroic. These transformations have been brave. It's taken a lot of courage to accomplish them and even more to talk about it. Even more yet to talk about my failing along the way.
The cool thing is it can apply to smoking, to weight loss, and to fitness. I can shine light on my journey to tell an interesting story. I can inspire another hero to adventure! You could be that hero.
Look, I have overcome tremendous odds and am still going. I ripped my old system of thought to shreds. I knocked out my internal lines of resistance in the third round with a crushing victory.
Every obstacle I overcome looked mighty and great. But I was greater because the obstacle was fixed and everyday I had the change to grow. I'm victorious over my slain serpents and defeated dragons. You could be too.
Yet in all this, I struggle to carry my confidence forward. It's not easy. But time and time again it has proven worth it. Every time I failed a certain goal within a certain time but later overcame, that victory was sweeter.
We don't know our time line and some obstacles are bigger than we first thought. But those obstacles are overcomeable. Those achievements are achievable.
Don't expect a paved path, expect the plateaus. But also have faith God moves the mountains but know he moves them through you.
I am because I choose to be. I declare it. I am because I can purposely lean into the discomfort. I can squeeze my own sensitive spots and provoke triggers which drive me toward action.
I'll grind the game until I know I win. I'll work my faith until I succeed. I am certain I have won. It's just a matter of time until the victory is announced.
I just may be halfway around the victory lap before it's announced. That just gives me a head start toward my next goal. I'm going to crush it. Will you?