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Thursday, May 12, 2016

I Used To Care...

We all struggle and to share just my 'highlight reel' or personal progression is disingenuous. So I'm going to do the painful thing and talk more about what hurt. Both before and during my journey.

It wasn't easy. I'm not an overnight success of health.

I struggled!

But this is also a message of hope. Keep the faith and the storms will subside.

You WILL come out the other side transformed like caterpillar to butterfly!

I Used To Care...

I used to care about many things but I realized they were all the wrong things to care about. There was nothing I could do to influence it anyway. At least... Not in a meaningful manner.

So I stopped caring. I stopped caring about the distresses the media fed me. I became carefree. Or so I thought.

I really became careless.

Instead of living a relaxed life without anxiety, I lived a sloppy life full of fear.

It it not a good life to live.

You see not caring was even worse then caring for the wrong things.

So I took a chance and tried to care again. It was awkward like a toddler's first step. It was clumsy and painful but I knew I couldn't go back. Not to where I was. Death was there.

I stepped again with a foot of faith and finally landed firmly for the first time in forever. In the distance, a faint glow. Was it the light at the end of the tunnel?

At least it is something.

Something better than the dark nothingness I knew so well.

Thoughts

This speaks to how deep into depression I really was. I felt I was in a dark death. I felt I had no purpose.

My mind travels back 6 years for this. Finally I can confront and put it to rest. It is well with my soul. I punched through the black veil of depression.

You can too.

The storms subside.

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