A videographer recently asked to interview me. I figured it prudent to dwell on my past to better convey it to the interviewer. Mindfulness is still something I struggle with so any prep I have is good. Anyway, while pondering, my mind chased a few rabbit holes. They were insightful, but maybe not what the interviewer wished to frame. I want to share them with you.
It's hard talking about the past, I look back and wonder, what was I thinking? Where was my head at? In 2015, I was over 300 lbs. Obese, depressed, feeling like an empty shell of a person. I Felt I lost all my passion in life. So many wasted opportunities I squandered floating down the lazy river of life.
Looking back, my life wasn't even that bad, but I kept comparing myself to others. I focused on how other families had more time, more love, more success. I ate that up. I devoured the toxic fruit before me. Looking back, I'm wondering why was I tripping? It's hard to get back into that mindset... or is it?
Reality, it's still a battle. I still hear I can't do that. I won't ever make my wife happy. My kids won't ever grow up to be functioning adults. But I'm learning to recognize that voice and tune it out.
You know what, there's another voice in there too. It's telling me I can do it. My wife, overburdened at work and exhausted at home loves me with all her heart. She's not neglecting me! She's TIRED! I can't go run off into another room and expect her to chase me down and give me attention.
And my kids. I am so fortunate to have kids as good as these. Sure, they have their problems but who doesn't? Stop comparing them to the highlight reels of Facebook. Let it be well with my soul these kids will grow up to be wonderful pillars of society.
I realize, I have a long way to go. To be honest, the path never ends. It's continues as far as you take it. The challenges on aren't necessary harder, but different, because you haven't been there. But also, I'm also come a long way! Sure it was painful but it was worth it.
It's cool someone is interested in the story. I hope you are too. Let me know if anything on my blog has effected you. I'd love to maybe interview you.